0deg 03.64m N 51deg 06.3 W. Fri 25th

Friday 25. We are anchored at Santana on a tributary of the Amazon. Macapa is about 45mins away by shuttle-- on a good day that is. Yesterday at sea there was the' crossing the equator ceremony' for polywogs ie passengers who have not crossed the line before. King Neptune with his' court' came aboard, the chef had a 2ft gutted salmon and polywogs like me had to' kiss the fish' and then the chef put the dirty great beast on their head . Well anyone who claims to know me will realise that I had to hasten to the ladies at that point. On my sneaky return I saw my friends covered in horrid bits of fish, on their hair, face, even down Maureen's tee shirt. It was sick making. I'll tell you --no salmon for me for at least 2weeks. I recd a really nice certificate to say that I am no longer a polywog. Really thick vellum. I mentioned this at dinner and Keith the Dance Host who sits at our table said , 'no matter, we will get you on on the way back up'. Me and my big mouth. I did not know there was a south and a north ceremony.Bearing in mind that Neptunes minions rubbed thick white goo over staff and threw them into the pool, I might be in trouble. They would not do that to a passenger, would they! I think my dinner companions might. We had to wait for ages this morning to get into the card room, the Federal Police took it over to check every passport and Yellow Fever certificate. Strange, I thought that one was more liable to catch Y. F. here than to bring it in. It is Burns night tonight so more juvenile hilarity, hope we have a real piper. Am not having haggis or tattie and neeps. Once in a lifetime is enough.Tea time on deck now. I am quite used to Room Service bringing me a pot of tea at 7am but have cut out the biscuits. I have not looked if I have any messages, if so, will answer next time. Byeeeeeeeeeeee.XXXXX.

Tobago

Steve, provider is same as before. I have tried to add money as I normally do but can not get thro' to Vodaphone. I am at a complete loss, I can not even send a text. Perhaps at a different port. Today I am in Tobago and have been on a tour around the island. It is a lovely place. We went to a show in Scarborough, the capital. A steel band and dancing girls-- really out of the ordinary. The man playing the steel drum was absolutely brilliant. It was the best excursion yet. I love Tobago, a holiday pad here would be most acceptable. It was 78 deg at 8am so I guess it was somewhat warmer during the afternoon. Even so I walked on to the tourist office for some leaflets, the breeze makes it bearable. At 6pm we shall 'sail away' towards our next port. It's a hard life, all this travelling and Ruby decided to be a bit fractious last night,not her fault really, the Caribbean was 'bitchy' but is angelic today. Am only joking,I am having the time of my life,I might just stay out here. Love to all. Captain just said that when we leave here we might notice ' a bit of sea swell '', Yes Cap'n I know what that means!!! XXXXX.

Dominica and St Lucia

Woe is me. I typed in my slow way yesterday the news re. Dominica our port of the day and answers to Julie and forgot to save it before going on the net .It did an abracadabra and left me gnashing my teeth. So-- here we go again. Madeira is very hilly Julie also the guide told us that there is not a lot of rain, the lush greenery is caused by mist condensing to dew on the plants and anything else that happens to be stationary presumably. She said that there are not a lot of blue skies re. the mist and cloud. Something to do with heat rushing out to sea at night, cooling and drifting back in as damp air, or something like that, Stevie will know. Did you buy that van? Handbags now! If you keep this up we shall not be able to buy you any presents. Steve how come? What you tol me about Rio. At Dominica I went into Portsmouth by shuttle for a walk around. There was going to be a small carnival later on but some of the locals had already started with loud music Bob Marley type. I did a bit of the Marley shuffle with them it was good. I had a talk with Fred and Albert who has lived in the north of England, cant remember where but on westcoast. Today we are in St Lucia. Last night I said '' Please Lord keep my feet on the straight and narrow, do not let me wander into the emporium of gorgeous green stones as I did last year.'' Wonder of wonders today all the shops are closed, the plastic has remained pristine. I had lunch on deck watching the small yachts, thought about you Chris.Saw a ginormouse one yesterday, I photographed it for you. Try again to post this, if anything goes wrong, bang head on benchand scream.XXXXX.